Before our businesses had shareholders, staff, SLA’s and all the other responsibilities that take you from a micro business to something much bigger there was myself, my wife and a few contractors running the show.
This was an immense time of learning for the both of us not only about how to run a business but how to work together.
If any business owner has told you to never work with your “life” partner believe them because it can get extremely hard. However like most micro and small business in New Zealand it’s very common to share the same bed with your business partner.
For those of you that are in this situation here are some tips we learned – the hard way.
Have separate roles in the business
This is the most important tip I can give you. Remember that your business relationship also includes emotion and a deeper level of knowledge about each other, which is a volatile combination. You will want to prove to each other that you can make this a success.
Doing your partners task without their approval feels like there is a trust issue and that can prove deadly in this situation. A personal relationship hardly survives an issue with trust and it now extends to your business as well.
Have one day where you don’t talk about work
Telling people not to talk about work outside work hours is impossible in this situation. All successful businesses were started by people that are passionate about their business and unfortunately you have the ear of your business partner 24×7!
Set 1 day a week where its taboo to talk about work. Now if this requires that you spend time away from your partner then do it.
Why not visit some friends who you know are sick of hearing you two talk about work and will force you to talk about something else.
If you don’t have at least 1 day as “husband and wife” then you will burnout and possibly turn your relationship into a platonic one.
Try and include another person in your in-house meetings
You know each other intimately and there will be times where arguments step over the normal business partner lines and stray into the personal stuff. If you have a third person attending the in-house meetings then you and your partner will be less inclined to drop in “below the belt” comments if the meeting starts getting heated.
Set goals and constantly refer to them
There will be times that your business will cause you and your partner immense stress so its important that you two constantly talk about your goals and remind yourselves why you are putting your relationship through this.
If you have no clear goals and exit strategy then how can either of you focus on the future and reflect on the rewards all this hard work will bring?
Remember …
At the end of the day its important to accept that having your life partner as your business partner will fundamentally change your personal relationship. Make sure you and your partner understand and accept this.
What tips do you have?
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Marc
Great blog, thank you – we broke off having yet another conversation about “OK, then what shall we DO now?” to read through your article (amazing the effect that 2-letter word can have – on Venus ‘doing’ refers to going back in time to a different emotional state and on Mars it refers to doing unto others before they do unto you).
Having lived & worked together for the last 13 years, we agree with all of your comments – the roles must be different, the goals clearly set (if not written down – we tend to write a wish list and put it away with the Christmas decs to see how we got on when it comes out next Christmas…but we already know!), using a business mentor has helped us – part time referee, advisor and inspiration!
The only tip we would offer is to set up a slush fund that is used at least monthly as a treat for both of you – trip to the races, day at a spa, concert tickets, whatever…to remind yourself that the business IS there for your benefit. You wouldn’t think twice about fixing the car as it is essential for the running of the business – you two are even more essential so make sure the relationship is well oiled!
If all else fails buy a golden retriever puppy – it won’t help the business but it will be an enormously pleasurable distraction!
Good luck and thanks again
Andrew & Jacqui, Blackcat Consulting Ltd
My husband Michael is also my business adviser with Creative HQ. To start with this was great as I could pick his brains mercilessly and he was an amazing font of information. I think he found it harder, not always being able to tell me what I didn’t want to hear!
I found at home if I was wanting to talk with him about work I would have to say “I am asking what you think as a husband not as my business adviser.”
You know the 10.30 rule? No arguments after 10.30pm? We had to have the 8.30 rule, no Hire Things talk after 8.30pm!
Having recently become the CEO and lucky enough to be getting some fantastic coaching and guidance from Nick Lewis, I find I am more confident with my own decision making and ideas.
Its was great working together but sometimes as you know the way the other thinks you stay within those bounds. Now I can have the best of both worlds, work with other amazing people and still pick his brains!
Iona Elwood-Smith
Hire Things
That is a great read! My husband and I manage to agree on how to run our farm/lifestyleblock
but conceded that being in business together and working side by side on a daily basis would be simply too challenging. We have opposite personalities and are different in how we approach things. I’m very happy to see him when I do and we also have a rule: we can discuss our work day in the car -as we commute-, but when we get home it’s worktalk done and onto other stuff like: when are we going to drench the cattle again?